The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn is Just to Love and Be Loved In Return

I guess it’s really me. Everything that goes wrong, it’s me. Since I was a child….it’s me. I wish I could defend myself, but I won’t. Because this time, it really is me. And it hurts, so much more every time that it is me. It’s just automatic. There is no ON/OFF switch in my dumb head. I refuse to believe that my brain went haywire somewhere along the way. I always ask myself: why so much self-loathing? Self-pity?

And I still don’t have an exact answer—though I have fragments of ideas. But this has to end now, because I’m starting to inflict pain towards other people, not just myself. To someone I love.

To love. In one of my favorite movies, there is a line that pulls at my heart—it never fails to on all occasions that I watch it. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return,”.

Well enough, I know myself well enough. And I know how much I can give and it’s boundless. I won’t hold back, not because I was told to….but because it is right; not because I have to…but because I want to.

I’ll give everything that I’ve got, nothing less.

I’m sorry I hurt you.

I love you.

November 13, 2008