In Transition

I want to go blonde. I do not care if it doesn't look nice, if it looks cheap, if it doesn't fit my face shape. I want to transition into the person I envision on a daily basis. Some people (most) would call me artsy, maybe they perceive me so just because I know how to draw, without regard to the fact that compared to more artists...I suck; I think I am more crazy than artsy...and I have been caging this craziness for so long. How I long for the day that I could just unleash the demented me who wants to live in a state of spontaneity and nirvana. I refuse to deem that it is age that withered this fire in me. I used to cut my hair when I get bored...buy clothes that people do not actually wear, make tons of photos and not care. I used to change myself frequently and not give a damn.

Yes, I loved being skinny. And now 4 months after giving birth...I still have around 8-6 pounds to lose...and it is so hard. I could not go on diets because I need the energy to care for our baby... There is minimal time for exercise because I am a full time mom. I was so ecxited, then, to breastfeed because they said it burns calories...unfortunately, my milk ran out in 3 weeks. Not that I'm feeling bad about it. I adore my little one and being there full time to care for her is my life. I just hoped I could be like those lucky moms who lose all the weight immidiately. Well I am not, and even though I am carrying a few extra pounds, I'd like to think that there is just more of me to love. But I am dedicating the first half of the year to lose all the weight, slowly but surely.

I want to go into metamorphosis. To become the person I want to be.

So here is a couple of things to do this 2012:

Go blonde
Find projects
Run
Learn to cook
Be the best mom ever (or second best after my mom)
Be a good daughter
Be the greatest wife
Develop my art skills
Make more photographs
Have my films developed
Lose weight
Be free.

Happy New Year :)