I have always been the fat kid. Never attractive, zero appeal. I grew up like this. It never used to matter until I learned of the opposite sex. That what they wanted were the goddesses on TV, not the normal people walking on earth. But most of those who chase goddesses often fail, for they are human too...so they find something close to perfection. And I was far from that. So due to the influence of media goddesses, I had the drive not to be one, but be close to one. Then came the cruel years of self-deprivation, self-pity...and never has any of it been enough. I thought this was what I wanted, the daily battle in my head...to change. I was never satisfied...I thought I was looking great...I didn't know when enough was enough. Now, I'm just an ugly heap of flesh and bones.