Such a Coward

I have been wanting to chop all of my hair off. It's not going to be the first time....for I have done it last 2008 as you can see here:

I want to do it all over again...but I fear that it wouldn't suit me any more. See, back then I was thin. Now I am dealing with a few more pounds, still from my pregnancy...which is now down to 7. Yes I know my face is "cheeky" and a bit round...but I've seen a few stars with sort hair that have round faces, like Ginnifer Goodwin.

I have just been itching for a change.

Here are a few photos of what I want my hair to look like:

Or if I go a little more crazy...maybe something like the following:

I need help! Yes I know it's just hair. Hair grows back. My husband keeps on telling me it would look good...but the pounds say no...no and NO. That is why I am so torn. I am still on my way to getting rid of them...jogging everyday...doing crunches. Dieting...even if my ulcer is back.

I really want to get rid of my hair...but I need more confidence.

If you were in my place...what would you do?

Yes It's Impossible But Doable

...or something like that. I remeber that line being said by Sean Connery in a move (I think it was Entrapment). Before I had a baby I was soooo thin...sooo thin that I took glory in that. If I wanted to lose 5 pounds in two weeks...I could. Nothing was impossible.

I gained a total of 30 pounds during my pregnancy. I lost 23 pounds after giving birth leaving me 7 to 8 more pounds to lose. Whenever I worry about those pounds, my dad always tells me, "It's all worth it...isn't it?"

Yes, every pound was and is worth it. I was so excited to breastfeed because it will burn pounds faster..sadly..two weeks after giving birth my milk ran out. Also, I had an emergency C-section...which got infected and opened...which made my time to recover slow...so exercising was still out of the question. It was okay for a while...I lost weight slowly...it's just that I got stuck with 8. I know I had to make an effort to make it disappear...yet I found it hard to make time for exercise because I always wanted to play with my daughter.

At the end of 2011, I asked my husband to help me. He always made time for me, and we went running after his work at the office. But this period was short-lived because we became busy moving to a new place.

But now that we're settled...I started working out again. I forgot how great it feels! Nope, there are no instant results...but the feeling of accomplishment gives me comfort, knowing that every day I am a step closer to my goal.

I am a mom now, I have to be stronger. A little comment like, 'hey you gained weight after pregnancy' should not put me down. I should have better things to do...not just for myself, but for my little one and for my husband.

Also, as I have a bad habit of comparing, I have noticed that the people who give me those comments are those who have nothing good to do. More importantly, they are not a big part of my life. My husband reminds me everyday...that what should matter to me is the way that he sees me, how much my family loves me...just the way I am.

I currently finished 1 week of working out. Let's see where this gets me in a month. But I am planning to do this on a daiy basis...just like before I got pregnant.

God is good, all the time.