The start of my 2010 was like shit. I lost my job; my depression got out of hand... I was so lost that I seemed to sulk most of the time. This is one big adjustment for me. 1. Because I had a job which pays good, I was always financially secure. Not in the sense that I can live and survive on my own just enough to get by my simple pleasures like good junk food and books. Now I have to save what little money I have left just to ride through this period of defeat and turmoil. 2. I wouldn't get to see Adam everyday at the office. I got so used to seeing him that a sudden change made me anxious. 3. The fact that the reason I lost my job was because of a group of bitches who didn't like me (not because of my performance whatsoever... I felt inferior just because I was disliked though I never did anything wrong. I do not deny the fact that these things break my heart a bit, because they did chip off a piece of it. But all I can do is move forward, because the time never runs backward. I have no choice. So no matter how hard it is to accept, no matter how hard I try, I will give it all I've got. If I fail, then I'll try again. I will not give in to my unreasonable sense of pessimism.
Anyway, last Thursday was great because I got to eat breakfast with Adam again, after a very long time. I got to see my friend Lora too, who stayed overnight at our house. Then last Friday I got to watch Sherlock Holmes (I'm a big fan). AND, Adam helped me buy a book. Well, he offered to pay for it but I felt guilty...so I payed half. (Thank you so much!!! I love you!)
